Hobo Pro Tips

Hobo Dancing

Hobos usually dance as a way to entertain with the hope that change will be given for their efforts. It doesn’t work. But you can actually dance for fun! There are no laws restricting hobo entry into night clubs. Not since 1956, that is. You’re free to have a night life but your street moves won’t cut it. You need to step up your hobo game and I have some moves to help you on your way.

The hunger shuffle: You must be starving to the point of stomach growling. When a growl occurs point your hands upward with your elbows at 45 degree angles and spin in a circle. Stop when the next growl occurs then start again on the next one.

The dirty thigh: Use both hands to rub your right thigh three times, then switch to the left for another three rubs. Repeat the process for as long as needed.

The shoe be gone: Grab people and yell “where the fuck are my shoes?” directly into their ears.

The blind smoker: This move is meant to inspire everyone around you to dance. Light a cigarette and immidiately put it out in someone’s eye. Continue until everyone around you has been fire blinded, your cigarette is fully burned away, or you get beaten viciously.

Krumpin: Have a violent seizure.

Have any hobo dance moves of your own? Comment on this post with your own hobo dance wisdom! Your ideas will be compiled into a future post.